Shaney Eye Surgery

The longed delayed surgery finally came.. Due to Shaney coughing, The Surgery was delayed till 28 Mar 11. Shaney suppose to have her last milk before 2.30am and last water before 5.30am.. and to reached KKH at 7.30am.

Since is so early, don't intend to wake her up and there we carry and go.. Took a cab there and reached there at 7.15am.. Shaney woke up after we reached the surgery centre.

She seem abit lost but Mummy had actually told her a day before that she had to do something to her eyes and she be pretty gal again...

Was called to go in at 7.35am even before registration been done. The nurse apply some cream on both hands and afterwich changed to the operation clothes. We are asked to go upstairs for the surgery.

We waited a while and of course mummy had accompany Shaney to the theatre room, Shaney was so brave. Not a single tear from her.. The nurse had distract her by showing her Sticker and blowing bubbles. where another 2 nurse was doing the needling behind.. very fast after they had insert the medication in, Shaney fall asleep.. My poor gal was then carried to the bed and I was asked to go out..

Daddy and Mummy had went to brought something to eat.. Very quickly, Mummy phone rings. We rushed up very quickly, it was done... Doctor Lam spoke to Mummy on what had already been done..

Left eye (the one with the bigger ball) had done some stitches and the right eye only cleaning up, after that we waited a while to see Shaney. When we are to ask in, Mummy saw Shaney sleeping quietly ont her bed, Mummy heart aches... Hold Shaney hand till she's more awake.. Daddy Carry her to downstairs where she can rest a while.

The nurse had on cartoon for her, gave her Milo, Biscuits and a lollipop. Mummy promise Shaney that I will give her dinosaur sweets which i had brought along this morning. Shaney had her meal and we are asked to wait at the waiting area where there's colourful chairs and toys. Doc came to confirm that there isn't any vomiting and allow us to go.

The nurse had explained to Mummy on the taking care of Shaney Eyes, took of the needle from her hand and off we go home.. Reached home at around 12.30pm.. and brought Shaney favourite Main Main, She had half a bowl..

Let her nap a while later.. slight coughing again due to the operation, gave her the inhaler again.. and Today Mummy took another day leave to take care of her..

Mummy took off the bandage from the eye this morning, the tearing is abit painful but Shaney show her braveness.. cleaned the wound and apply the anti biotic cream..

Hope that everything will be fin... These few weeks are hard for me.. to accept the gone of the baby and the pain of my darling eyes.. the unhappiness at my working place.. Hope everything will be better soon...

Life... Feelings....

A week of rest at home, I brought Shaney to her childcare everyday.. the feeling is really different from the usual pick n go... I manage to see the teacher there.. I send her personally with a kiss of goodbye.. I can make sure that she had her medication, breakfast, teeth brushing.. Am i going to give up something and be like this?

Yesterday night had do assessment with Shaney.. before sleeping.. she manage to spell out her own name.. This is the kind of fulfillment of Mummy when the kids are growing and learning... Was so delighted..

Heard of a bad news yesterday.. Uncle Huge was gone on Saturday.. Is kind of shocking news and this bring some kind of emotional thinking again... Life is so fragile.. Why are we keep demanding something where we don't treasure what we have now? Why are some people just so persistent over certain issue?

Very tired these few days... trying very best to rest my mind.. hope that everything will go fine after this.. May God blessed...

Goodbye...

Today is the day i say good bye.. My little darling, I'm so sorry... Mummy didn't manage to kept you warm.. Mummy didn't manage to protect you well..

Bleed stain on my panty on Sunday morning.. more bleeding came in the evening gave mummy a shock.. Immediately rush to KKH.. Doc say that the water bag isn't that normal.. the tiny little dot in it seems to be my little ones but the sizes is only 5 weeks big instead of 8 weeks which suppose to be.. follow up with scanning test and cant detect the heart beat... Totally depressed... sad..

Doc cant confirm if is still there... suggested to do a blood test to check on the hormone.. and another one in 2 days time.. The uncertain, unconfirmed situation makes me unsecured and i had replied that I could like to go back to my gynae to check again..

Actually from the blood flow, already had known that my little one cant pull thr... On my way back home... tears keep flowing down to my cheeks... When we reach home, Shaney ask me.. Mummy why your face like want to cry like that.. Immediately tears flow down again.. Told Shaney, bb inside my tummy but cannot grow.. no more bb already... Is really sad to face this.. and Shaney gave mummy a warm kiss..

Went to CCK, My gyane side early in the morning... 1st to called in as I told the lady that I'm bleeding... Told my gyane abt the KK visit and he had a scan for me... As what I had feel.. The bb couldn't manage to make it.. I had an miscarriage... I feel bad.. I dun no if I had caused this.. Or maybe my bb had know that Mummy cant tolerant her work place any more.. and gave me a chance to find alternative as soon as i can..

I really feel bad.. Sad to have Miss my little ones.. Mummy will always remember this day.. Tmr gona to Thomson Medical to have it cleaned...

I felt that suddenly all the bad thing came at the same time.. tat really frustrated, emotional, miserable.... can all these be an END pls!!!